702-840-3488 desouza3d@gmail.com

Katharsis

There once was a website called Katharsis. That word comes from ancient Greek. It means purging or cleansing.

The original Katharsis was started in 1987 in print form and eventually became a website. The founder and owner, John Randall (not his real name), is a story worth telling.


The End of John Randall

Practically everybody has somebody who loves him. After a man has died, then that’s when all kinds of shit comes out that would never have surfaced while he walked among us.

Just before Christmas 2008, I was in contact by email with a man who called himself John Randall.

The emails that I received from this mysterious man stand out as the single most unforgettable holiday season email I have ever received over some 60+ years of life. Instead of sending the usual holiday cheer, this odd man confided to me in his email that he was about to commit suicide.

He seemed to me to be a very bizarre person. Why would I believe anything that he told me in his emails?

For one thing, he claimed to live in a trailer in a remote Mojave Desert town of Pahrump, Nevada. I thought it sounded like a fabricated name.

Of course, Google Maps can validate that there truly is location in the state of Nevada called Pahrump. Wikipedia can provide additional details about this odd-sounding town, including the existence of a third co-founder of Apple Computers, who allegedly dropped off the grid while the other two guys went on to become extraordinarily rich and famous.

That co-founder of Apple Computers allegedly lived with John Randall in the trailer in Pahrump. There is also the tantalizing story about a large amount of silver that was rumored to have been buried in Pahrump by Las Vegas casino owner, Ted Binion, who died mysteriously afterwards. Of course, the treasure that Binion buried has never been found.

During 2003, I received several digital photographs in email from John Randall purporting to show a Plexiglas window of the Pahrump trailer in which a mysterious object had become embedded. He wrote with certain conviction about his fear that the embedded object (yes, it was silvery in color and had a slender, futuristic look) might just be of extraterrestrial origin or from the future.

Perhaps the true identity of the co-founder of Apple Computers was that he was from the future or he was from another world. How could any mere mortal from this small blue planet ever have come up with an invention as advanced as the Apple Computer!? Perhaps that silvery object embedded in the Plexiglas was, indeed, a communications device that enabled communication with an extraterrestrial civilization.

The main claiming to be John Randall admitted that he had been abruptly kicked out of that Pahrump trailer by his roommate from another planet following the arrival of that futuristic technology stuck in the trailer window. After John Randall relocated from Nevada to Florida, he wrote this to me: “…my eyesight has returned but other problems have conspired to make today possibly the day … if you do not hear from me by Christmas, assume I have died…”

That was that last I ever heard from him. So, of course, I had no choice but to assume what he wanted me to assume.

In his final email to me from 2008, John Randall wrote this: “…my situation is this, I have not been able to find a place to stay, Florida is dragging its feet getting me food stamps and Medicaid … I’m staying with my uncle but he wants me out ASAP, no later than Christmas day… he wants me out today … since I have no place to go, and I’m deaf and intermittently blind, I would be beaten up and starve on the street, so I choose to take an overdose of my diabetes medicine … that will put me into a non-recoverable coma …”

John Randall provided me with an FTP log-in that enabled me to access a server in the state of Nevada that he claimed had been the web host for the original Kartharsis site. I half expected to find the secret missing files of Daniel Ellsberg.

I remember Martin of Holland had emailed me during 2008 with what seemed to be a very wise warning—John Randall was a former Roman Catholic priest, and, for that and other valid reasons was not someone to be believed or trusted.

Also at that same time, I remember reading comments from others posted on Google Groups about their experience of having been burned by John Randall usually connected to an artist or writer being ripped off. Apparently, in his pursuit to publish extreme content about castration, impalement, secret military executions, and other brutalities, John Randall felt he could do whatever he wanted with other people’s intellectual property. He posted some of my original illustrations years ago on the old Katharsis site, but he never tried to claim that my work was his.

This much I accept as real today: How we treat others while we are alive will determine how we will be remembered after we are gone. It’s really that simple.


Katharsis Reimagined

I produced and operated a reimagined second-coming of Katharsis starting in January 2015. The total number of visitors from 2015 to 2016 was disappointingly low. The reimagined site which was named Katharsis.xxx could not be sustained as a business due to the very low audience participation. After one full year of operation, I had to shut down that site.

The original target audience for Katharsis remained consistent: College-educated adult males—professionals around the world in the fields of the military, religion, medicine, law, education, and business. The unifying theme was an unbridled and joyful celebration of male victim fantasies.

Free eBook showcasing 13 controversial and explicit bara images
posted on the Katharsis.xxx website 2015 through 2016:

The value of the relaunched Katharsis was that it provided the target audience with guilt-free therapeutic release of emotional or psychological and physical tensions through viewing of fantasy-oriented fiction and images online. How I depict highly masculine men online today directly descends from the storytelling and imagery that I observed on the original Katharsis site during the 1990s. I’m convinced that the low audience numbers in the second decade of the 21st century prove that there is no longer a need for the Katharsis site nowadays. My creative works in 2018 certainly have surpassed what was once considered distasteful and offensive on Katharsis during in the 20th century.

The fantasy situations depicted within all versions of Katharsis included a wide range from ancient Roman gladiators, Greek soldiers, human slavery, torture and castration, dismemberment, hangings, beheadings, prisoners of war, executions, revenge or thrill killings, to other extreme and highly controversial behaviors.

One visitor to Katharsis.xxx wrote: “Katharsis not only titillated gay men for whom executions and execution fantasies are erotic. It also let us know that we are not alone and that we are not mentally ill.”


Representative images that appeared in years past on Katharsis:

 


Are You Racist?

Here is one of the main characters from Baja Clavius Book 5: A Blood Moon Rising. This character’s name is Thomas Burke. He is the director of the top-secret time travel agency situated on the moon beneath the crater Clavius. He is one of my main characters created for my original illustrated story known as Baja Clavius Book 5: Moon Men Deep Inside. Learn more at the Baja Clavius website.

Main Character from Baja Clavius: A Blood Moon Rising

I portray Black men in my works on a consistent basis. I am white.

So, why do I depict Black men so favorably?

Take a look at what I recently posted—this commentary—about my choice to depict young, masculine men of various ethnic groups:


If you’re thinking “I prefer white guys” when you see the images of the Baja Clavius characters, your are incorrect in how you express yourself.

You can correctly say “I prefer Pepperoni pizza and dislike all the rest.” But, whenever you say I prefer white guys, you are expressing to the world one simple truth: YOU ARE BEING RACIST.

If you do not prefer to read queer sci-fi stories or view images of gay male characters who are other than all-white, I am asking you to leave right now.

I choose diversity and inclusion. This means I do not hang out with people who are racists or who exhibit racist behaviors or speech.


If you want to help me get others to see the work that I do, I asks you to share word of my work online in your own words with other men who are like you. Thank you so much.

 

Secret Stash

I invite you to become part of a private group of supporters of mine. I am offering you the opportunity to become a member of my inner circle which brings you valuable access to me and to my creative works that the general public never gets to see located in my secret stash. This inner circle is very simple: The most popular and best option is that you agree to provide support to me with a one-time payment of $45 (forty-five US dollars). This brings you LIFETIME benefits and you never pay again. I make it easy for you to pay me online.

Lifetime Access to My Secret Stash

The most popular feature is of my inner circle is that you get LIFETIME ACCESS to my secret stash online not available to the general public. That collection is not appearing here on DESOUZA dot VEGAS or elsewhere on any other website. Within that secret staff you will get to enjoy my uncensored creative illustrations and personal commentaries about my 3D digital art. You never have to pay anything again to me for this lifetime access once you become a member of my inner circle for a one-time payment of $45.

More…

You also will receive a digital file depicting a fictional male character that you can enjoy privately. This is an on-demand service and your customized order will be fulfilled based on your particular specifications. That image will be produced from an existing character that I have previously created. Once you are in my inner circle, you can purchase additional custom-built men files to your specs for only $20 each.

Contact me today to learn more.

 

Magic, Meaning, or Messaging

I am often asked about why I do what I do. A fair question is: Why would anyone strive to become a prolific producer of 3D digital art that spans over a decade?

Scene from one of my illustrated stories — This 2017 image from my illustrated short short “Best of Beck” is emblematic of my creative works. There are highly masculine men depicted. There is a sense of peril that has endangered at least one of the men. If there is any “message” in works of mine such as this, here we go: Men can be violent and unpredictable, so keep your eyes open for opportunities for your survival. I follow in the footsteps of Tom of Finland, whose “message” rang through to me loud and clear a long time ago.

But, honestly, I am not a message-oriented artist. I suppose there always is some kind of messaging that I must be conveying through my creative works. And yet, I do not start out with a particular sense of message when I produce creative works. Messages just happen. Is that magic? Nor do I strive to be considered prolific. That just happens by itself.

Three horny guys on a sofa — This illustration is especially typical for me. I show highly masculine men caught in the act of being true to their inner nature and drives. I think it is entertaining to look at such men as they behave either badly or admirably. That motivates me to keep creating visual works like I do featuring the exploits of men.

The year 2018 represents the 12th consecutive year during which I have produced my creative visual works. I consistently keep repeating this same disclaimer: What I do is create concept pop art—visual pop culture artifacts that convey ideas. It is entirely make-believe. It is not real. I do not want anybody to mistake my photo-realistic works as representing real, living people. This is entirely made-up stuff. It is fiction. I am not advocating that anyone should view young men in our physical world merely as sex objects. I am not a proponent of powerful men in our physical world taking advantage of and hurting vulnerable young men. All that I create is pure storytelling for enjoyment within your mind.

Innocent life lost — This illustration depicts what I see as one wasteful loss of a young man’s life. That sense of loss of young men’s lives is a recurring storytelling theme I have used for over a decade of creating 3D digital art.

Effects of chained bondage — Here’s another example of loss. The chained captive is completely at the mercy of a man who likely is not his friend. What can one take from this? I leave that to you to figure out for yourself.

Which man is the submissive one? — I enjoy twisting my viewers’ expectations. In this illustration, does it really matter which of these men is the dominant one versus which is submissive? More: Unwilling Fucking.

Fire is final — The title (“Fire is Final”) of this particularly throubling image kind of expresses all that needs to be said, doesn’t it?

Do not point a loaded gun at your cock and balls — This illustration might be used in support of an urgent public safety message campaign for men: Do not point a loaded gun at your cock and balls. That is metaphorical. But, would anyone take it to heart?

Cowboys died in the barn — I am convinced that there is NOT always a particular message that I hope to convey in my creative visual works. For example, this message: Do not shove sharp objects through a man’s skull. Think about it.

Grab for what you want — During the 1960s and 1970s, the legendary Schlitz Brewing Company used a phrase in their beer advertising: Reach for the gusto. That archaic marketing phrase expressed the very worthwhile idea that you should seek delight, pleasure and enjoyment. My creative works embody much the same kind of philosophy. But, I just say it plainly: Grab for what you want.

Show respect for the big man, then spit-roast him while giving him a reach-around
— You just may find that one big man who deserves your show of respect for his masculinity. Don’t hold back! Push him far beyond his limits. Invite a buddy over for showing some two-on-one respect for his masculinity. Then, finish off the big man: Spit-roast him and give him a reach-around. He will never forget what you’ve done to him.

Gay Men Deserve Life Coaching, Too

We all have seen news reports of guys who admit to having been bullied for being gay and who then take their own life. This is tragic, but is it surprising?

 
We live in a contemporary society in which technology bombards us all with mixed messages that all of us–straight and gay–cannot avoid even if we try:

  • You can pray away the gay
  • You can use your mind to change yourself from gay to straight
  • You can turn to medications to change from gay to straight
  • You can turn to a specialist to “convert” you from gay to straight
  • You can turn to an organized religion to “save” you from being gay
  • You are a sinner for being gay, but you certainly deserve forgiveness
  • You can just find the “right woman” who will turn you from gay to straight
  • You can “just say no” to being gay

 
One way to steer clear of the strong confusion of conflicting messages from a wide variety of authority figures is to get involved in life coaching designed for gay men.

 
This practical solution is an antidote to harmful prejudice and condemnation. Everyone deserves the opportunity to attain a solid emotional balance that is enabled through life coaching. http://gaymenlifecoaching.com/

 

Underground Art Influenced Me

Continuously since 2007 I have been creating characters using digital art software who depict an ideal masculine male in the United States and in other places who have similar cultures.

I was influenced by how others over time attempted to show what they considered to be an ideal man. Here you can get an excellent historical perspective on how art has depicted the ideal male body.
 

Gay Underground Art

 

As a gay male artist and storyteller, I have been influenced by these eight gay male underground artists:
 
Tom of Finland — Arguably the most famous gay adult male erotic artist of the 20th century and someone whose works are instantly recognizable.

  

Etienne — American Dom Orejudos was a pioneering gay male artist who drew unforgettably masculine men in perilous situations.

 

Hasegawa — Renowned gay male artist from Japan with troubling visions of what can happen to masculine men.

 

Tagame — Famous and beloved Japanese artist whose controversial works are both extremely violent and sexually explicit.

 

Ulf — An American master of intensely sexual digital images of masculine men.

 

Greasetank — Highly controversial American digital illustrator from Texas whose works will jolt your sensibilities.

 

 

Bondageskin — German digital artist with an enduring interest in creating digital images of men hanged by the neck until dead.

 

The Hun — American artist from Oregon with an unforgettably unique perspective on masculine men and their behaviors.

 

 

 

 


 

 

The Extinction of Gay Identity

The Extinction of Gay Identity

Being gay is becoming something harder to define that in previous years. The word gay tells you about a person’s lusts and loves, but it used to tell you more — about his or her boldness, irreverence, independence. It connoted a particular journey and pronounced struggle, and had its own soundtrack, fashions, and short list of celebrity icons. Not so anymore.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/28/opinion/the-extinction-of-gay-identity.htmlThe Extinction of Gay Identity

 


 

 

 

Custom-Built Men

3D malesI am available to create custom-built men for you on a commission basis. You get 3D computer-generated images of masculine guys that you find so attractive.

What you receive is a digital file depicting a fictional male character that you can enjoy privately.

This is an on-demand service and your customized order will be fulfilled based on your particular specifications.

Image Price

The image you will receive is priced at only $45 (forty-five US dollars). That image will be produced from an existing character that I have previously created. This is the lowest price that I have available.

This one-time payment of $45 also makes you a member of the inner circle of supporters who get private, unrestricted access to my secret stash online not available to the general public. There you will get to enjoy my uncensored creative illustrations and personal commentaries about my 3D digital art. Learn more about my private inner circle group.

More complicated or involved production work that requires additional time for me to complete on your behalf is priced higher. I will explain the price range to you if you contact me to let me know what you’re looking for.

A Man and His Story

The image will show your custom-built man in a story. You tell me what his story is. You also tell me how he looks and what he is doing in the image.

One image is supposedly worth a thousand words. But, I only require that you send me a few short lines of text describing what you want shown the image. Here is an example of a simple text description that I can work with easily: A young, naked cowboy is ready to ride.

Character Traits

You tell me about your custom-built man’s character traits. What are his racial characteristics? Is he young? Is he muscular? Is he well-endowed? You get the idea here.

Adapted from Existing Characters

The $45 price is for a custom-built male image adapted from an existing character that I previously created.

Here you can browse through these examples of my existing characters so you can see my huge range of types of characters of masculine men.

With a very few exceptions, you also may select an existing character that you saw anyone online in one of my original images. Just copy the URL of the image and contact me.

Character Based on a Photograph

I also produce custom-built male images that are adapted from a digital photograph—a close-up of a man’s face. This work puts a particular face you will like into your custom image. The price for this expanded production work is $100 each.

Maybe you want an adult video performer to be transformed into your own custom fantasy:

Or, perhaps you prefer that big pirate from a movie to have his costume taken away:

You may want to fantasize over your own private totally nude rendition of a hot Hollywood actor:

In order for this to work, the source color photograph that you provide to me before I get started working must be a close-up of the face of a man from the neck up, without any shadows or other visual elements touching his face. Look at the example.

As also shown in the example, the production process working from the source color photograph results in a strong resemblance for a character, but not a mirror image match of his face. Note that the man’s hair as shown in the source color photograph is not preserved in the production process.

Want much more? I also can write and produce a sequential art story for you. See this sample page:

This kind of production work usually comes in at around 7 to 10 pages (delivered as a pdf) with each page having an illustration and storytelling text. These customized illustration plus text products typically run from $200 to $350 depending on the total number of finished pages and how complicated or how much time the work would be for me to complete for you.

Contact me to let me know what you would like for your sequential art story. I will respond with full details about how this process works and how much this customized production will cost.

Contact me today to ask me any questions or to learn more about my custom-built men. I sincerely look forward to hearing from you.

Individual copyright owners retain full rights to all their photographs shown on this page as examples.

Alaska versus Hawaii

Alaska versus Hawaii
— a fatal adventure

 

A man from Alaska and one from Hawaii must fight each other until one kills the other during a reality television show aboard a mysterious cargo ship sailing the South Pacific Ocean. This illustrated short story (upgraded and expanded from a previously abridged version) is available as a free downloadable pdf below that includes multiple very explicit full-color images.


Gang rape was a fact of life when the Alaska versus Hawaii reality television show was in production.

 

 

More Kaipo of Hawaii images:

    
 

 
More Jackson of Alaska images

 
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Meeting Gengoroh Tagame in Person in San Francisco

I learned the meaning of what to me was a new concept — non-binary — while I was in San Francisco attending the 2017 Queers & Comics conference. I became a conference sponsor and traveled to San Francisco from Las Vegas attend because I support and encourage queer art and artists.

Turns out that I was totally unaware of rapidly-expanding and self-referential vocabularies available nowadays to describe all things queer or gay. But, that may be understandable because my focus is on visual storytelling.

Happily I lost my naïveté in San Francisco because I become a sponsor and attended the Queers & Comics conference at California College of the Arts. My main motivation to go was so that I could meet the celebrated artist Gengoroh Tagame from Japan.***

Here I captured the unforgettable moment when Tagame clarified for a large San Francisco audience that he never intended his very explicit Human Carrot visual story to be for all ages:

Gengoroh Tagame in San Francisco at California College of the Arts

Tagame stands as the strongest influence upon me as an artist and my visual works more than Tom of Finland, Dom “Etienne” Orejudos, and Greasetank, who are no longer with us. At the moment I got to speak to Tagame, eye-to-eye, I was overcome with joyful emotion. In the decade that I’ve been creating visual works for gay men, I never could have even dared to imagine meeting Tagame in person like I did. See examples of my sequential art (as in comics) in which I emulate Tagame’s sensibilities and style.

His art was on display in San Francisco at California College of the Arts during the Queers & Comics conference:

*** When I first saw Tagame in San Francisco, I could not believe that I was sharing the same space and time with him. He means that much to me! I was instantly choked-up with strong emotions. Tagame is one of the heroes of underground art that I have—a short list of men, most of whom are no longer living. I never imagined that I would get the opportunity to meet and talk with Tagame and I will never forget this rare moment in my life.