Stories by Nullo

The prolific writer known as Nullo deserves his own web page. Here in one place are all his stories of male domination that are posted at the Desouza of Vegas website.


BBQ – cooking by barbecue or grill
CAP – captive held against his will
CBT – cock and balls torture
CBY – cowboy or wild west
CUT – cock and/or balls castrated
EAT – eating flesh or internal organs
HNG – hung by the neck
MIL – military or warfare
PWC – penetration without consent
STR — strangulation

“Extreme S&M” by Nullo. Should be read in the order presented:

The Cavern

Desouza of Vegas homoerotic illustrated fantasy.


I woke up and I was naked at the bottom of a deep stone cavern.


I heard a frightening sound way up above me and I feared for the worst.


I felt the wind from his huge wings as he descended upon me.


He stopped just above me and made me feel insignificant compared to him.


I felt that he wanted to hurt me and I was utterly defenseless.


He grabbed me and carried me vertically as he flew.


He held me tightly as he flew up along those cold stone walls.


The quick change in air pressure popped my ears and I blacked out as he carried me in his arms.


When I woke up, we were floating together above the clouds.


He suck me until I shot off. He flew away and I fell downward from the sky.



Madeira Desouza portrait

Madeira Desouza of Las Vegas


About Madeira Desouza


What attracts you to men?


Madeira Desouza: I depict what attracts me to men very clearly in my illustrations and stories: Men who have a strong and clear masculinity. Confidence. Personality. Physicality. Vulnerability. Mystery.



Are you aware of why you tell the kind of stories that you tell?


Madeira Desouza: When I was 16 or 17 I wrote my very first science fiction story. As I read it printed out on paper, it hit me that I had storytelling talents. But, the process of being a storyteller is something I cannot explain in a logical way. Nor do I fully understand why I tell the stories that I do. My stories come from “somewhere” but I am not conscious of where that place might be. I do not sit down and tell myself that I’m going to “be creative” and “write a story.” My storytelling “happens by itself” even if that may sound mysterious. When I reached adulthood I created an illustrated science fiction time travel adventure entitled BAJA CLAVIUS. It “came from somewhere” that I cannot point to. BAJA CLAVIUS is a science fiction about time travel that also happens to be faithful to the bara genre of art and storytelling that originated in Japan during the 20th century.


How did you get started doing illustrations?


Madeira Desouza: I happened to see the compelling drawings of Dom “Etienne” Orejudos and Tom of Finland. Both men lived and died in the 20th century, but we still have large collections of their unique underground art. I was inspired by their work and felt compelled to produce visually stunning images like they did. Technology helps me express myself and my sexual orientation. In 2007 I started using a computer and software that gave me the chance to create similar works to those two underground artists that inspired me. I use technology rather than pencil or pen upon paper to express myself. Every image that I create tells a specific story in very visual and very emotional ways.


Do you care about the differences between those who create using digital technology versus those who use old-school methods?


Madeira Desouza: I was in an Apple store once when I saw a store employee wearing a T-shirt that proclaimed, “I paint with a computer.” That really impressed me! I believe as many people nowadays do that “painting with a computer” is the new normal. The traditional, manual methods will always be available to those who want to create using those methods. But, I prefer using the 21st century methods because that’s just how my mind works. Martin of Holland once criticized me in a personal email to me in which he expressed his strong opinion that those (like himself) who used traditional methods were the only ones who should be considered “real” or “authentic” artists. He’s gone now and I don’t speak ill of the dead. But, considerations of who is “real” or “authentic” as an artist belong solely to past centuries.


Do you consider yourself to be an artist or an illustrator?


Madeira Desouza: I choose to define myself as a digital illustrator. What I do is also called 3D digital art. So, it is true that I am a 3D digital artist. But, by whatever name, I want other gay men around the world to have the opportunity to see the visual works that I create and read the stories that I write. That’s why I use digital technologies to share my creations rather than brick and mortar art galleries or physical books.


What have other gay men said about your work?


Madeira Desouza: One gay blogger wrote that I am a philosophical CG artist. I take that to mean that my works demand that one think about what’s being shown or revealed as compared to passively viewing it. The observer gains a lot if he puts in some mental work during the viewing experience. Because viewers are invited to think about what’s being shown, I accept that what I do is not necessarily going to appeal to any so-called “mass audience” out there in the world. Yet, I get emails from guys who obviously “get” what I’m trying to do. One comment explains what I mean. The guy wrote this: “Never have I been so aroused. I always feared to delve into my darkest fantasies but with you, I feel supported and understood. Your stories are a perfect blend of light and shadow, to put it in very simplistic terms. I confess that what also arouses me is a detail that most would find insignificant but which holds tremendous eroticism. Curled toes. That’s a soft spot of mine. I associate it with violent orgasms, when pleasure wracks the body, makes it convulse and twist right down to its toes. Thank you for your amazing work and your willingness to share it with us. I do hope to see more and more of it and praise you for your lack of fear regarding a subject most would not dare to broach.”




Do you deliberately seek to provoke?


Madeira Desouza: Guilty as charged. However, all that I create is intended strictly as fantasy and not to be misinterpreted as advocating violence against men or any antisocial or unlawful behaviors in the real world we live in.




Why do you aim to be provocative?


Madeira Desouza: When I look around me at the straight world, I regularly notice straight people who do not feel comfortable seeing masculine men showing affection towards one another. Not sure why that is, but this is a basic truth that I have come to accept about United States culture in the 21st century. In contrast, straight men and women will accept drag performers like RuPaul Charles, whom I greatly admire as a genius and always enjoy watching. Straight people derive pleasure from enjoying laughs at the satirical comedy and the sexual ironies that RuPaul excels at. I think that major Hollywood comedies featuring men in drag such as the Mike Nichols film The Birdcage are also “safe” and “unchallenging emotionally” for straight people. That nonthreatening kind of gay man is what seems to find a “mass audience” at least by Hollywood standards. I choose to depict masculine men who connect with one another emotionally, physically and sexually. Because I work within the bara genre, I use cruelty, violence, and exploitation as core themes. I have come to a high level of acceptance that my illustrations and stories are considered provocative and challenging. There is no turning back now.


Is there a story behind your name?


desouza_2012_cowboy-runningI’m a citizen of the United States, born in California. My heritage is Portuguese from both my parents. Madeira is the Portuguese word for wood. The surname comes from one of my old country grandparents.

When I was a boy, I had an irrational fear that I would turn out to be merely an ordinary man.

During journalism school, I grew to admire writers who distinguished themselves through their professional works. But, I also must confess that I developed a very strong attraction to the well-known practice of writers who use a pseudonym. I discovered in those days that Mark Twain was the pen name of Samuel Langhorne Clemens. Filtered through the perceptions of a teenage boy, that was the coolest thing I had ever come to know about the writing profession.

No surprise that Mark Twain has remained my favorite American writer of all time. Not that I think I am as good as he was or ever will be. But, I seek to be humorous like him, to tell vivid and imaginative stories like he told, and, yes, to have a memorable nom de plume like his. I created a pseudonym for myself that would sound considerably more Old World ethnic compared to my own birth name while being a name that everyone should recognize no ordinary person would ever have.

It does not really matter whether someone with a pseudonym is prominent and globally identifiable like Mark Twain or Stephen King or J.K. Rowling or Jay Z. The simple reality is that having a pseudonym is a timeworn way of differentiating yourself from everyone else.




Thinking of God and Free Will

I am not the only writer who’s science fiction storytelling depicts a world in which there is no God. My novel Moon Men Deep Inside tells the story of a world about 300 years from now in which a top-secret agency based deep inside the moon uses time travel to the past to control and manipulate people. The time travel agents use a time machine to get to the past and there they manipulate people’s behaviors and actions. The unfortunate people who get manipulated by the time travel agents have their free will taken from them. My novel explores what would happen if such a powerful agency actually existed that could take away people’s free will.

What if I had chosen instead to write about this futuristic world that happened to be like our world in which God does exist? How would I, as a writer, deal with God’s response?

In this thought experiment, let’s suppose that God is an interventionist deity like many people believe is true. We would rightfully expect that God would intervene (or should intervene) so that a top-secret time-travel agency would not succeed in taking away people’s free will.

When I was in my youth, I was assured many times that God wants people to have free will. How anybody mortal could possibly know what God wants is a question for which I never got a credible answer, however.

But, I was taught during my formative years the foundational truth that God would never just sit back and let anyone take away people’s free will. If God did nothing in response to attempts to take away people’s free will, certainly humanity might start perceiving that God was dead. Or, if God were still alive, and God did nothing to stop the taking away of free will, humanity might expect that God was not doing a very good job. Moreover, I accepted what I was taught as a kid: God is divine and God never makes any mistakes whatsoever.

I grew up believing that having free will was not necessarily a gift from God. It more accurately is a responsibility. If someone has the free will to choose to be bad and to do bad things, then the outcomes of that person’s behaviors must be seen as rooted in their choice to be bad and to do bad things. Free will means freely choosing. It is not possible for anyone who has free will to be bad and to do bad things by accident.

Yet, it was not possible for me to miss seeing how religions teach that God punishes bad people and their bad behavior. God gave everyone free will, yet religions make it very clear that anyone can be punished for making free choices in life that go in directions that religions tell us God really doesn’t want. Similarly, many people also believe that God rewards good people and their good behavior, too. God gave everyone free will, yet religions make it very clear that anyone can be rewarded for making free choices in life that go in directions that religions tell us God really does want.

So, I ended up becoming very confused. if religions teach that God punishes and rewards people based on their choices, then what is it exactly that is “free” when considering choices? A “free” choice would be such only if there were no payoff as a result of, or connected to, the choice, right? Put another way, can you really be considered “free” to choose to be good and to do good things if you are compelled by religion towards good as a payoff or reward?

I came to believe that there’s a whole lot of “buying” or “bribing” by religions taking place in our world. There are basically two sides to these transactions. One side emphasizes religion’s promises of a reward. The other side focuses upon the religion’s threats of punishment. Some religions seem to survive just fine without killing people in brutal ways like beheading them. Others not so much.

I inevitably came to wonder: Is it possible for any person to choose to be good and do good things—or to choose to be bad and do bad things—without any consideration of religion or the belief in God? Are the concepts of “good” and “bad” (or “right” and “wrong”) rooted exclusively within religion or the belief in God? Why can’t we figure those things out on our own?

And so it was that I wrote my novel Moon Men Deep Inside–to explore a world in which there is no God and watch what happens when human beings who do not have free are controlled and manipulated by a top-secret agency. Are the people in that science fiction world able to figure out “good” versus “bad” or “right” versus “wrong”?